For me personally, as a twin flame runner who was before in a relationship with my ex-wife for 6 years, this is more on a personal level than my other recent posts where my answers have been more of a general answer or explanation than a personal one.
Mainly the Karmic relationship as I see it is a lesson that the Twin Flame runner needs to learn before meeting his or her true Twin Flame. At least that is what it was in my case. I had to start thinking about my life as it was, what I wanted from my life, what I did not want and what needed to be changed.
My Karmic twin as I see it came into my life at a point where things were starting to change for the worse in my life. I had recently lost my job and spent most of my days home alone while my wife was working long hours for us to be able to keep our already fragile economy together with just one income and the regular bills still piling up every month. All of this and what happened is not something that I am proud of but still, it happened and for some reason I let it happen.
I had met my Karmic flame before at a friends party and now all of a sudden when I had nothing but time on my hands for some reason, she reached out to me and really caught my heart in a way that I couldn’t resist at that time.
I was trapped in a marriage with someone who I did not really felt connected to, we had few similar interests and I would say that perhaps we never really understood each other at all. I didn’t feel noticed, loved or cared for and out of the blue came this girl who was interested in everything about me and wanted my attention everyday.
After a while, all of that resulted in me deciding to break up and divorce my then wife. Leave my home, my security, everything basically to be able to start over on a clean slate, I wanted and needed to change everything. My decision to break up had been much based on the guys you see on TV or in novels who promise and promise to break up with their wife’s to be with the other girl but never does. I didn’t want to be that guy, I wanted to be a man of my word and so I fulfilled it. Little did I know that this girl was just a “good girl” who is interested in married men and then when he is not married anymore, he is not interesting either.
In this Karmic relationship that I now entered, I would say that I became the chaser. I did not understand when my Karmic flame went away for days and sometimes weeks, without a notice, just offline and I couldn’t reach her and then she would be back from outer space pretending that nothing ever happened and everything was normal.
If I was fragile before, that did not make things better and I found myself in a position where I had left everything basically to be able to be with someone who all of a sudden turned out to be totally dishonest and unreliable. I refer to this period in my life as my dark night of the soul where I more or less gave up on my life and tried to slowly kill myself. After about 10 months or so in this rather dark place things were slowly starting to turn around, I got an internship for three months at a delivery service and I met my true Twin Flame for the first time.
During the reboot period that lasted for about 10 months or so, I was really in a dark and lonely place where I more or less tried to kill myself slowly for a while before things slowly started to turn around again and right about then is when my Twin Flame came into my life, but all that is another story. Let’s dig deeper into the Karmic relationship and what that is all about.
How does a twin flame runner cope with a karmic relationship?
It is easy to mistake a Karmic Flame for a Twin Flame. It can really be a complex story, that is what it was for me. The Karmic relationship for me was a mental tornado filled with mental stress and challenges, but somewhere in midst all that also a spiritual evolution that led to something that I am forever grateful for today.
I truly believed that my Karmic Flame was you know – the one, the Twin Flame. I felt like the luckiest guy on earth when things were fine but also like a ship with a broken rudder on the open sea whenever my Karmic flame decided to run away all of a sudden and was gone for long periods.
Just like in a true Twin Flame relationship I felt intense strains during times of separation. What I did not understand back then is that the pain came from karmic wounds, I would say a lot of it was co-dependency issues stemming from deep inside of my subconscious mind.
In midst of all this is when my Twin Flame showed up. I was bombarded with feelings of confusion for my Karmic Flame and all of a sudden I found myself finding feelings for someone new while still hopelessly yearning for someone who clearly did not want to or was not ready to be with me, This had me in a position of constant tug of war between my Twin Flame and my present Karmic relationship. To describe the feeling I was holding onto a raft in wild waters while my heart yearned for the calm of the shore.
This point of my life is when I for the first time slowly started to open up locked and barricaded doors within my subconscious mind that held answers to deep wounds and traumas from my childhood. The discomfort that I felt during my Karmic relationship was the very catalyst I needed to start of my personal growth. Somehow it was in the midst of all that, that I found the courage and strength I needed to confront and heal my deep-seated wounds.
Regardless of the emotional roller coaster that my Karmic relationship was, it provided me with an essential learning curve that I needed for my journey. I went through a chapter in my life where I found myself gaining immense spiritual growth and self-discovery. All the pain I went through was not merely a torment but was also a period of deep healing and transformation.
Every painful moment that I spent in my Karmic relationship has helped me to clear my karma. It was a time of reopening old wounds to finally heal them correctly. In the latter stages I started realizing patterns of my behaviour and what triggered me and learned how to be able to stop in the moment and reflect over something triggering me. All of a sudden I could handle my triggers in a calm and rational way instead of letting my triggers totally overrun my internal programs and have me go haywire. That my friend was the silver-lining start of coming into union with my true Twin Flame.
Conclusion
In conclusion, navigating through a karmic relationship can be complicated. Nevertheless, these relationships offer precious opportunities for emotional growth, healing, and understanding of one’s self deeper than ever before.
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